It has been almost three years since I wrote this love letter to myself (see below). I was younger and life looked different than it does now, though it seems hard for me to imagine how so much could have happened in just three short years. And while a lot has changed, many of these things I asked of myself are still very tangible. If you haven't written yourself a love letter I would encourage you to try it. Write it now, and store it away until next year at this time- you will be amazed at how you've grown and how life has taken shape over the course of a year.
let me start by acknowledging how far you’ve come in a year. when i let myself wander back in time to where you were just 365 days ago i am delighted. but you aren’t perfect, far from it, and you have so much to learn young girl. you’re still navigating new waters every day- as a young wife, first time homeowner, sister, friend, teacher, neighbor, and grown person. my hope is that you take time to cherish these years of learning, store up all the precious pieces of advice from those who are further in their journey than you, and then share it back one day. this is why you need to do a better job of journaling. twice a week won’t cut it sister. i pray you open those pages each day, even if only to record scripture that is on your heart. you’ll thank yourself for doing this years from now.
impatient girl, can you remember when the prayers in your heart went something like this, ‘let this man become my husband. amen.’, ‘let this move be your will, Jesus. i am scared and ready. amen.’, ‘let this job be the one for me. amen.’, ‘Lord, let this old farmhouse be our home if it is your will. amen.’? how badly you wanted to marry your husband and move to wisconsin, and land your dream job, and get the call that said the farmhouse is yours, only to find your heart restless and anxious for what else is coming. do better at waiting, at drinking in the moments of ‘before’. don’t discount where you are, it’s an important place- be all there. thank God for today and all the ordinary tuesdays you’re given. you too quickly forget that you often pray for Jesus to prepare you + your marriage for what lies ahead. preparation takes time, so open your eyes and see God at work.
it’s time to get your butt back to yoga, lazy girl. you’ll be awkward and stiff and hard on yourself for letting your practice go. don’t be. in fact stop being so hard on yourself altogether. your blessed, you have grace and mercy. who cares about the blemishes that cover your skin? who cares if you have one bad observation at work, or if you run late, or look like a damn mess every now and then? i bet no one cares more than you. you’re so good at extending grace to others. do better at allowing yourself what you allow others, imperfection.
remember the blog you love, and the recipes you’ve been eager to try, and the books you bought in hopes of reading them ferociously? all those projects you pinned and dreams you let sit still for too long, do better at getting around to them ambitious girl. don’t let the days pass by without doing the things you want to do. MAKE time. stop saying your too busy or too tired. you aren’t. and if you think you’re tired and have no time now come talk to me when you become a mom.
and finally, timid girl, do better at being brave. don’t be ashamed or embarrassed when you are brought to tears by words and actions that remind you that God is very much alive and at work in your life. don’t stay quiet when what you have to say is important. don’t stop fighting for what you were meant to do. stand firm in your faith and share it with everyone.
so beautiful girl do better this year. you are going to fail, it will still be worth it.
you are so loved,
the face in the mirror staring back at you